Being a housewife is not a weakness...
HOUSEWIFE
ˈhaʊswʌɪf
noun
1.
a married woman whose main occupation is caring for her family, managing household affairs, and doing housework.
A year ago, we (my husband and I) decided that I had to resign from my job of 5 years, and I did.
I have some friends who have done the same, and in our generation, “staying at home” is like a curse word (thank you Chido Sachikonye for that line…LOL).
I actually like the idea of being a housewife, but i feel like if i say that i will get hated, because apparently i am supposed to be more ambitious than that - Unknown
Many people have asked why I chose to abandon my dreams and ambitions for marriage, so I will share purely from my personal experience. This post will state my reasons for doing it, societal reactions, and how I feel about it right now.
I had been working in a bank for 5 years, basically from the time I finished University till I resigned, which is October 2016. So, all I knew was working for myself, paying my own bills, doing my own hair etc, I was Miss Independent as far as I was concerned…LOL.
I have a BBA in Finance, but I have always wanted to, (and I still want to study Psychology). My dream was to get married after I had completed my 2nd degree (which I haven’t started…lol), and started my own practice, which would allow me flexible working hours, so that I have enough hours with our children, I wanted to have saved enough money so that I won’t have to worry about our children’s education for as long as they wanted to study. I wanted to be one of those Real House Wives of Harare, who go for lunch and have an over-priced salad at these fancy restaurants (hehehehehe just kidding). But my main goal was to always stay in the same place as my spouse, because I am not a long-distance relationship kind of person.
Being a mother and housewife is a worthy choice for any woman, provided that it is her choice - Molly Yard
Reality is, I got married before I had started on my 2nd degree, so all of the above hasn’t happened YET. I got married when I was still working my 8-8 job, and I was still working 433km from my husband. Working 8 -8 wasn’t going to be a problem, as long as me and my bae were going to be staying under one roof, and eating the same meals.
When I went on maternity leave, I had already put through a transfer request, which I prayed hard for to come through, and I had told myself approved or not, I was going to stay with my husband. I packed all my belongings and moved them to Harare (by faith).
Maternity leave ended and there was still no sign of the transfer approval. But God answered my prayer in some way, I got to cover for a peer for a couple of months in Harare, and I was asked to use up some of my leave days which were in excess, this made me stay in Harare for longer than I was supposed to, but my transfer request wasn’t approved. Ultimately, I had to resign. This was a mutual, and calculated decision, we had a good 6 months of deciding if I should resign or not, if my transfer request was declined.
I just didn’t wake up and say I am leaving my job because of marriage.
The other reason I resigned was because it wasn’t making financial sense to be running 2 households, we were going to incur double the expenses incurred by a normal family, which was crazy, my income wasn’t going to be able to sustain the bills and other living expenses on my side of the country. At the end of the day I would have to ask for more money from my husband to cover my Bulawayo expenses, when we had similar expenses to cater for in Harare.
When I tendered my resignation, I got a lot of negative reactions from a lot of people (who shan’t be named…LOL). One comment that affirmed my decision was that,” Ndiri kushamisirigwa neMarriage, zvichapera, and ndicharitsvaga basa randirikushainira kana ndakunetswa nemurume.” (simply put, I was misplacing my priorities and I would soon regret my decision). My response was, “I will cross that bridge when I get there, right now let me enjoy that marriage when I still can."
Was my career, and financial independence worth the possible collapse of my marriage, No… so I chose my marriage.
Will I ever get a chance to start and finish my 2nd degree… maybe Yes, maybe Not.
I have applied for a couple of vacancies, which have seen me being either over qualified, or not being able to qualify because I am married, and will possibly carry a lot of emotional baggage, that will make me useless at my duties…LOL.
After reflecting on all these things, I still love where I am right now.
A year later I do not regret my decision to resign from my job. It actually has been a chance for me to realise and execute my other passions. I might not be a Psychologist as I pictured myself being before I got married, but I polished my cake making skills, and it has given me income, enough for me to make regular visits to my barber, and get my hair bleached when I want, and enough to buy my husband a couple of Beers…LOL.
Had I stayed employed where I was, I would never have started my blog, or I would have missed my baby’s first steps, or her calling me "mummy".
Yes, we have financial challenges (I will blame that on this economy…Hahahaha), we fight and argue like every other couple… but do we ever bring up the fact that it’s because I quit my job, or do I ever use that as an excuse for the problems we have…NO. I sometimes wish I had a paying job, so that i could help my husband out, but i don't have one...
Do I wake up stressed as much as I was stressed in the 5 years of my employment, NO, I don’t.
I didn’t and still don’t see anything wrong with a woman prioritising her marriage, the same way one would choose to prioritise her career over her marriage, or even getting married at all. It doesn’t make the next choice any less important…and it doesn’t make me any weaker in letting go of myself and thinking of my marriage, in as much as it makes the career driven woman stronger in the eyes of society.
The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose- and that is to support the ultimate career."- C. S. Lewis
Being a housewife is a 24/7 non-salary based job
One just has to be at peace with their decision, and agree with their spouse when making the decision.
Be blessed.
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