Different friends for different seasons and times...
A couple of days ago I found myself looking at pictures of a couple of people who were once my very good friends. Good enough to have been my best friends, but didn't last long enough. (I say good enough, because I have never believed in having a best friend, because every person comes with diversity to my life, and appreciate them all the same)
As I was thinking, I tried to figure out what made these relationships not last a lifetime? I always imagined friendship to be “A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down.”
Major contributors to the dissolution of some of the relationships were a change of schools, diaspora, growing up and maybe a sudden difference in interests and priorities in life... Change of schools and diaspora shouldn’t have been a problem, right!!! I mean, distance wasn’t supposed to kill our friendship, but I was wrong, it was an epic case of ‘Out of sight out of mind’. Mostly growing up happened and we ended up having less and less things in common, which created a void space.
I looked at the dictionary meaning of friend, and none of the meanings seemed to be able to describe what I needed in a friend...
So I decided to see what the Bible says about friendship or true friendship rather. And I discovered that there are 2 types of friends in life…
“ “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” The concept of friendship is a strong one in Proverbs, and the word friend is used nine other times in the book. Wisdom is called a friend (7:4), a friend loves at all times (17:17), a poor man is deserted by his friend (19:4), everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts (19:6), a person with gracious speech has the king as his friend (22:11), faithful are the wounds of a friend (27:6), the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel (27:9), and do not forsake your friend and father’s friend (27:10)… “
There are friends who are there because of what you have to offer them (such as a material gift or popularity-by-association, and convenience), and those who exist because of genuine love and friendship. One can accumulate as many friends of the first type as possible but still come to ruin; however, even one friend of the second type is a great advantage.
So I came to a realisation that I amassed a lot of Type 1 friends. Our friendship became that of convenience. I tried to stay in touch with some until I realised I was working too hard for these relationships. Why should I be the one to always send out the occasional ‘How are you doing’ or ‘I’m in the city, lets hook up’ text. Iron sharpens iron right…So I gathered the guts to not send out these occasional texts, so that I see if “my friends” would look for me too… Alas!! Months later, nothing has come my way.
Looking at those pictures a few days ago made me teary, mourning the lost ‘friendships’. It’s after I received one of these chain messages in a WhatsApp group this morning, that I realized that I was still holding on to what could have been instead of concentrating on the present. I needed to get rid of this ‘Lot’s wife’ syndrome. Move on and not look back.
You see, God subtracts and adds some people and relationships in my life on my journey to my destiny. I should not be afraid to move on and leave behind some people in my life.
“And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.” - Romans 8:28 Amplified Bible (AMP)
“Stop crying, lamenting, drowning in tears of pity and fear of moving on. Every circumstance is building you for the castle The Lord has prepared for you.” (Unknown)
I lost some and I won some. God subtracted and added even much more!!!
Be blessed <3
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